Writing has always helped me process stuff, so taking advantage of the unexpected bump in popularity on my Twitter feed that I’ve recently gotten, let’s try and reboot this blog.
First off, we’ve been doxxed. After my spouse and I joined in the community defence of an all-ages Drag Brunch in our hometown, far-right bad actors identified us (not actually hard, since I was live-tweeting from an account which links to this blog and I’ve never hidden my real name) the chuds quickly posted our home address, our workplaces, our phone numbers and so forth. Our personal information is out there, we’ve both been receiving death threats both at home and at work, various far-right scum are gleefully spreading hate and outright lies about us online, the whole works.
In short, this does not a very merry Christmas make.
But to all the scumbags – and I’m sure they’re reading this – let me just say: Your scorn means nothing because I see what makes you cheer. If fascists and white supremacists and general bigoted shitheels are against us then we are on the right side of history, which thought has been a comfort in recent days. We did what what was right – we defended our community from homophobic hate. We will endure this and continue to do what is right. It’s as simple as that.
For all those who’ve sent supporting messages, thank you. I realize I haven’t blogged here for many months, which means I haven’t really checked the email associated with the “Contact Me” form in a while (so much Russian spam) so if you’re trying to get a back-and-forth conversation on the go, let me just say you’re better off sending a DM via Twitter or Mastodon. But the messages of support have been gratifying: I know we have the backup and protection of a great many good people which is not something we take for granted – and it has been a benison in this trial. Again, we will endure this and continue to do what’s right, simple as that.
As for the actual community defence? I owe you all a reportback.
This is the second time we’ve been out in recent weeks to help the community prevent far-right whackjobs from disrupting a drag event. The first time was at Hamilton’s Terryberry Library back in November, when about twenty homophobes tried to force their way into a drag storytime for toddlers, and were prevented by a gratifyingly large turnout of LGBTQ+ folks and allies. This has happened quite a bit recently, and the reasons for that are worth looking at.
After the Ottawa convoy thing was broken up, the far-right grifters needed to latch on to something – anything – that would give them the same kind of financial flow and online attention they have become so desperately addicted to. Following the lead of American far-right grifters, they’ve whipped up a satanic panic style attack on drag artists, claiming that they’re somehow “grooming” children to become LGBTQ+ or to be molested or to let Chinese Communist Trudeau clones into the country… you know what? I actually don’t care what their idiot conspiracy theory is at any given moment.
Drag brunches or book readings or storytimes or whatever are not “grooming” anybody. Little kids love drag queens because they’re big, colourful personalities who sing showtunes and read them stories. Drag queens like doing these shows because I guess it’s fun to read and sing to a room full of kids if that’s your thing. If you’ve ever been to one of these shows it’s instantly obvious there is nothing at all sexual about it.
And the far-right chuds know it. They know it. The “groomer” slur is nothing but a cynical lie intended to cause trouble – to excuse trouble. You only have to spend thirty seconds at one of their protests to understand that it’s not about “protecting kids”, it’s about the chance to scream homophobic abuse from behind the safety of a police line. They are not subtle about it. They’re clearly enjoying themselves.
Here’s the thing – since the Terryberry Library drag storytime on November 24th, they’ve attempted to disrupt several events. And let’s define “them” – it is literally the same twenty assholes every time. More than half of them are far-right streamers and podcasters. It’s always the same names and faces, with maybe a couple-three local losers out to join the fun. This is not some amorphous group who represents the will of the people, it’s a bunch of very specific fascist content creators who are enjoying being hateful in public without consequences. Many of them were involved in the Ottawa occupation and the anti-vaxx movement and the anti-immigrant Yellow Vest dipshits before that. We know who these people are – we know their names and faces, which I’m not going to amplify here. I am going to wonder who’s funding them because they’re spending their weekends hitting multiple events on opposite sides of the province and gas is expensive, especially with half a dozen huge flags fucking up the aerodynamics of your pickup truck.
About a week ago we first heard that they were planning to disrupt a drag brunch in our home town, so various community members immediately put out a call for defence. This was pretty spontaneous and I don’t think there was any actual organization around it. In fact the morning of, I was pretty nervous that it was only going to be me, my spouse and a family friend.
Fortunately the turnout was strong, especially considering this event coincided with the large community vigil in Hamilton for Beckett Noble, and overwhelmingly against the chuds. Call it twenty or so bad guys and about sixty community defenders, plus half a dozen Niagara Regional cops. The defenders’ numbers rose and fell over the course of the morning, but it was a damned strong turnout. Much screaming and some shoving occurred but it fell short of fisticuffs. I was technically assaulted three times by three different people but I honestly doubt that the cops will be putting up roadblocks on behalf a middle-aged queer and frankly, I was expecting it. I’m bruised and sore across my chest and back, but let’s face it: it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been manhandled by fascist thugs and it’s not going to be the last.
The drag brunch had two seatings so it ended up being a long, cold time while the shitheads taunted us with homophobic hate, but aside from one particularly tense period after the first seating when our numbers dwindled down to about thirty and the haters thought they could take advantage it remained relatively calm. The Niagara cops didn’t try and keep the sides apart but they did step in quickly to separate people during altercations. I did point out to one officer the bigot with a knife strapped to his belt, but that didn’t seem to excite them much.
In any case, it calmed down after the folks came in for the second seating. The chuds seemed to lose steam and looked pretty worn out, which is understandable after their long drive from Brockville the night before. Around then a bunch of new defenders showed up and it became much more festive on our end. We got to make new friends in the community, put some faces to names of online friends, chatted and generally socialized in way that we haven’t been able to for a couple of years.
Eventually the bigots packed up, taunted us a bit more on their way out, and left peacefully. At that point people began making their exits in groups, just in case any of the homophobes had lingered for trouble. Then back home, hot bath, stiff drink, and oh, here’s a bunch of fascist dipshits sharing my work extension online.
I’m left with a lot of big thinkie thoughts after this. Obviously the fallout for my family personally has been stressful, but I cannot regret any of it: we did what was needful to protect our community. We have done it before and will do it again as many times as necessary.
One thing that is sticking with me, though, is the youth. There were a number of obviously LGBTQ+ youth who joined the community defence – teenagers, high school age – openly wearing Pride colours and pins and just being who they are standing up against the mostly middle-aged bigots. I have been standing up at events like this longer than those kids have been alive. When I was their age, I could not have done what they did, I could not have been openly queer. Hell, when I was their age at a rural catholic high school deep in Ontario dairy country I barely had the vocabulary to describe my orientation, much less the safety to express it. And now these kids are able to walk freely and without fear or shame.
Am I allowed a little pride to think that maybe what our generation of queer folks endured has helped build that small space for them? That the fight was for them, all the pain was for them? That I played a part, however small, of the incredible victory of our youth being able to stand openly with their heads raised high instead of ducked in shame?
Because ultimately, that’s what this is about. The haters claim they’re “protecting children” when their goal – besides grifting for clicks and money from US evangelical organizations – is to reverse those victories, to make a world where children aren’t taught that some people are different and that difference is to be celebrated, not attacked. They want a world where lesbian, gay, bi and trans youth are forced back into the closet of confusion and loneliness and fear, like poor Beckett. They want us to live in shame. They want us to die in shame.
Never again.
The opposite of shame is Pride.
